Tainted Love
by shadowkissed-rachel
Summary: Rose and Dimitri are all-powerful and rule an empire of vast wealth. Lissa and Adrian set off to track down their friend, but how will they react when they learn the truth? Set during Blood Promise and told from multiple perspectives.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! This is a one shot that would take place at the end of a Blood Promise. I might continue with it depending on how everyone reacts. When I was reading Blood Promise the first time, I remembered being amazed at Rose's resolve and her strength. What would have happened had she not been strong enough?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or any of its characters, all rights go to Richelle Mead**

**Rose's POV**

_If I could just reach the bridge, if I could just get to the high ground and to the other side – _

I was close, so close to the bridge when the nausea began to swirl within me. I panicked, letting the surge of adrenaline drive me further up the treacherous hill, and closer to the bridge. I could do this I –

I felt Dimitri seize the back of my jacket, lurching me backwards. I immediately went on the offensive, I kicked and lashed out violently, but there was hardly any technique or control left in my movements. I was beyond desperate, and every move sent a blast of pain through my nervous system. He had me pinned tightly against him, my back to his chest.

"Stop it!" He growled into my ear. "Don't you get it? You can't win!"

"Then kill me!"

I gave one last frenzied attempt at breaking free of his hold, but it was no use. I was exhausted, I was weak, I was nearly defeated, but I vowed to fight until my last breath.

"You said you would if I didn't surrender myself. Well guess what? I didn't. I won't. So just get this over with."

"It'd take a lot for me to kill you, Rose," he practically whispered into my ear. "This isn't enough."

This was it, he was going to bite me. Dimitri was going to puncture the delicate skin of my neck with his razor sharp fangs and he would drink from me. He would drain me of my life's blood and it would wipe the girl who had been Rose Hathaway right off the face of the Earth. Maybe he would turn me, maybe he would leave me for dead. Either way, this was it.

In my last few moments, I thought of all the people I loved, all the people I had left behind. I wished could have told Lissa how sorry I was for abandoning her, I wished I could have loved Adrian the way he deserved, I wished I could have known my mother the way a daughter should, and I wished, more than anything, that mine and Dimitri's stories would end differently.

His mouth grazed the hollow of my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut as tears carved little paths down my cheeks.

"I forgive you," I whispered.

His jaw clamped down, and his fangs bit into my skin. It only hurt for a moment though, soon endorphins flooded my system and I sagged against his body. It was wonderful, more blissful than anything I had ever experienced in my life. Dimitri moaned against my neck and then resumed drinking, he drank until my eyes went dim and I could no longer sense the world around me, just blackness.

**Adrian's POV**

_St. Vladimir's isn't so bad_, I thought to myself as I strolled through its lush grounds, it was late in the vampiric night and the campus was mostly deserted. I wanted to find Avery, she was all I could think about lately. She was so beautiful and kind, and she had helped me to forget Rose.

Rose.

It had been a few weeks since I had last thought about her. The last time I had seen her was in a spirit dream. She had been dressed in some ridiculous evening get up and her neck was marred with tell tale signs of vampire bites._ She takes my money so she can travel the world blood whoring, what had I ever seen in her? _Avery would never do something like that.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of laughter from some where up above me. I looked up, scanning the tall gothic buildings that loomed before me. There, on the sixth floor, standing on the ledge of one of the guest housing buildings, was a girl. She was walking with her arms out, like she was doing some kind of balancing act. Her pale blonde hair whipped around her and she turned over her shoulder to giggle at something. She was unsteady as she walked, her heels teetering on the edge. She stopped once she could go no further and looked down thoughtfully. She turned her head and I saw another girl standing a little ways away, peering through a window that led to the ledge where the first girl stood.

"Lissa, be careful! You shouldn't be up there," called the girl standing in the window.

Lissa?

Before I could even react, Lissa stepped over the edge. I watched in slow motion as she plummeted downward and hit the ground beneath her with a sickening thud. I ran, faster than I had ever run in my entire life. I fell before Lissa's body staring at her mangled figure, taking in where her arms and legs bent at unnatural angles, the ghost of a smile still on her delicate features.

Spirit swelled within me without me even having to call on it. The power filled me up, and soon I was brimming with magic. I felt I would burst, I needed to find a release. My arms shot forward and the second my hands made contact with Lissa's temple, I felt the magic flow from me and into her. It was intoxicating, I felt like a god.

"What are you doing?!" Some where a girl was screaming at me, but I didn't stop what I was doing.

I couldn't stop.

"No! Stop it, this isn't how it's supposed to be!"

A pair of arms had found their way around my waist as some one tried to pull me from Lissa, but I wasn't done yet.

"Adrian, no!"

Whoever was attempting to pull me away gave one last desperate tug, and I fell backward on top of them. I was still wielding massive amounts of spirit and I scrambled to my feet to turn on the culprit.

It was Avery.

But it wasn't, her aura was different. It was gold and it flickered before me.

Avery was a spirit user.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry this took forever! Be sure to let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, or any of its characters. All rights go to Richelle Mead.**

**RPOV**

The air around me was filled with the scent of pine trees and dirt. But it was mixed with something else…I inhaled deeply, letting the sweet mystery aroma fill me up. It was intoxicating, and I felt my mouth begin to water. I wanted to taste it, whatever it was. I parted my mouth slightly, breathing more deeply. I heard the soft chirping of crickets from some where around me, it mixed with the sounds of rushing water, and then the snapping of a twig from some where off in the distance. My eyes snapped open at the disturbance. I wasn't prepared for what I saw. The moon told me that the day had past well into the night, but there was no darkness, the sky was bright and clear. I could see every detail of every leaf in the trees that loomed above me, I saw past them even. I gasped, taking in my surroundings, it was startling.

I sat up, realizing that I had been lying on the muddy banks of a river. Glancing down at my appearance, I saw that my legs were covered in dried blood and the dress I wore was nearly torn to shreds. I ran my hands through my hair, dislodging a few dried leaves that had become entangled in my long tresses. Something was different, my hair felt like silk, softer than it had ever been. I ran my fingers down the length of a few strands, the feeling was exhilarating. Next, I ran my tongue across my lips, but stopped when I felt something sharp. I moved my tongue more slowly, letting it probe the corners of my mouth. I had fangs, sharp ones.

"You're awake, good."

I was on my feet in a flash. My body moved like a dream. I inhaled sharply at the man who had approached me. It was Dimitri…he was a Strigoi. I brought my hands up to my mouth, inspecting my fangs further with the tips of my fingers.

I was a Strigoi.

He had awakened me, and it was everything he had said it would be and more. Dimitri walked toward me, he looked to be in a state similar to mine. His clothing was torn and his face showed signs of exhaustion. Despite his current state, he looked more like a god to me now than he had ever looked back at the academy. How had a mortal life ever been enough for me?

"We need to get back to Galina's before the sun comes up."

I tossed my hair over my shoulder confidently and strode over to meet him half-way. I placed my palm on his chest, wanting to feel him. My fingers crept in through the hole in his shirt I had created with the stake I had crafted from the furniture of my posh prison. His skin was ice cold and felt divine. I suddenly wanted to experience everything he had talked about. What would it be like to press my lips to his? I felt a stirring deep within me, a hunger. But I realized that this was a very particular hunger, one that could only be satiated by one thing.

"You can go," I told him, flashing a smile full of fang. "I think I'd like to grab something to eat first."

He brought his hand up to grab ahold of mine. He jerked it away from his chest, but didn't release it. Instead he used it to drag me after him as he turned away from the river that surged behind us. He was strong, but right now, I was stronger. I ripped my arm away from him.

He spun around, his red ringed eyes boring holes into my own.

"You're not ready," he hissed. "We have blood at the house."

I scoffed at his words. Not ready?

"Where's the fun in that?" I pouted.

I wanted to find my own prey, to stalk it, sink my teeth into it. I bit my lip, thinking about the hunt.

"Do as I say," he growled.

I laughed, "Is that how you think this is going to be? Do you think I'll obey your every command? I'm not that vulnerable girl you snatched off the streets of Portland all those months ago."

I felt power coursing through my veins, I was invincible. There had been a time when I would have done practically anything to please the man who stood before me. What a silly girl I had been, a weak girl.

"I made you this way," he told me. "You aren't that girl because I made you better."

I smirked, "You give yourself too much credit."

He gave me a hard look.

"The sun will be up in an hour. Besides, I'm sure what I have planned for you is better than whatever urchin you pick off the streets of Novosibirsk."

His words intrigued me, and after a few moments, I decided to indulge him.

"Fine," I told him stiffly. "Lead on."

Dimitri led me through the twisted hedge maze that surrounded Galina's mansion. I had more of an appreciation for its grandeur now that I wasn't limping desperately toward an exit I wasn't sure existed. Dimitri hadn't let go of my hand yet, and the constant contact of skin on skin was enough to drive me mad with desire. He led me to the front door, which I had never laid eyes on before. The doors were massive and made of dark wood, complete with ornate polished handles. Dimitri opened one of the doors and pulled me inside. I had him shoved against the paneled walls of the foyer before the door even had a chance to click shut.

At first he tried to push me away from him, but my rebirth gave me strength and the upper hand. I pinned him against the wall with my own body. I felt a mixture of clothing fibers and smooth skin beneath my hands as I raked them over him. I wanted him, but for reasons I had never known before. I needed to claim him, to show him he was mine.

I brought my mouth up to meet his in a hard kiss. There was no gentle teasing to the way I kissed him, it was all passion and desire. He managed to grip my arms tightly and used his hold to spin me around, reversing our position. His hands slid down my arms and every where he touched burned. They continued to slide down the sides of my body and stopped at the hem of my dress. He tore at the material, what had been left of it. His hands moved around to cup my butt. He squeezed and then lifted me off the ground, driving my back up the wall. My legs wrapped around his waist as one of his hands snaked up my neck. His fingers wound themselves in my hair and he tugged on it sharply as he brought his lips down to kiss my throat. Nothing I had ever experienced before my awakening compared to what I felt now. My nerves were on fire, and my heart threatened to beat its way out of my chest. I wanted him, but not like this, not when he had all the control.

I unwound my legs from his waist, and brought my hands up to shove him away. It caught him off guard and he stumbled back for just a moment.

I gave him my man-eater smile. I supposed I would be taking that description more literally in the near future.

"No," I said in a low husky voice. "You said you had something for me."

He eyed me playfully.

"I do."

He turned and I followed him up the stairs and down a long corridor. He led me through a door I didn't recognize, one that wasn't guarded by a series of vaulted doors and pass codes. I was immediately overcome with the same intoxicating scent I had woken up to. The room was extravagant, covered in a deep red carpet and with gilded chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. It was almost overwhelming. What struck me the most, however, was the huddled form that lay on the bed. It was a girl. She smelled of sweat, and something else, something I couldn't quite place. Something that made my mouth water.

I glanced at Dimitri and he nodded. I stepped towards her and realized that the girl was Inna. She turned to see who had approached her and let out a strangled cry. There was still a small wound on her neck from where I had interrogated her. The bleeding had slowed, but it was still fresh. I was suddenly able to place the scent that filled me with longing. It was blood.

I was on top of her before she had time to even register what I was doing. She writhed beneath me as I straddled her. Her eyes were wide with terror and she seemed to be pleading with me in rapid Russian.

"Oh Inna," I crooned. "Shhh, you were always responsible for my meals before now, why all the hesitation?" I brought my mouth down to whisper into her ears. "Don't you want this?"

I could hear her heart thumping against her rib cage, sending blood to her extremities. I couldn't take it any more. I bit down into her neck and moaned with satisfaction. The taste was divine, I didn't want it to ever end. Inna, who had been struggling before, sagged into the bed. The endorphins from my saliva had entered her system, and knowing that I had been the one to give her that pleasure only spurred me to drink faster.

I fed until I could no longer hear Inna's blood pulsing through her body. Afterward, I sat up, moving my hand to wipe away the blood that dribbled down my chin. Dimitri was suddenly standing at the side of the bed, he grabbed at my arm before I had a chance to clean myself up.

"No. Get up," he commanded.

I untangled myself from Inna's lifeless body and kneeled on the bed before him. Another, entirely different hunger threatened to consume me. He scooped up Inna and deposited her into the hallway, freeing up the bed space.

"That," he said, resuming his place in front of me. "Was incredible to watch. I knew this would be the right thing for you."

He stepped even closer to me, and brought his face down so that it was level to mine. His mouth brushed over the corner of my lips where Inna's blood still lingered. I realized now what he wanted. His mouth moved slowly over the places where blood had gotten on my skin, following a little red trail across my neck. His pace was agonizing. I needed him now.

I pulled him onto the bed with me in one swift motion, tearing at his shirt as I went. He forced me underneath him, using his size against me. I decided to let him, for now. My lips parted as he brought his mouth to meet my own, letting our tongues meet in a passionate kiss. He managed to rip away the remaining shreds of fabric that had managed to cling to my body. He stopped to look down at me.

"You are amazing," he told me, his eyes brimming with lust.

I managed to roll him over so that I straddled him the way I had Inna only a few minutes before.

"You have no idea."


	3. Chapter 3

**So after completing a second chapter for this series, I've decided that I'm going to continue with it. Writing Strigoi Rose and Dimitri was just way too much fun, and I also have a lot planned for Lissa and Adrian.**

**I do not own Vampire Academy, or any of its characters. All rights go to Richelle Mead.**

**APOV**

_Avery was a spirit user._

I had been preparing to turn the full force of my powers on whoever had tried to interfere with my work, but hadn't been prepared to find Avery standing behind me. I most certainly hadn't expected to find a golden aura radiating from her either. A person's aura was one of the few things that allowed me to distinguish spirit users from the rest of the Moroi population. Lissa's, and I assumed my own, both shared similar qualities; they were bright and full of life, streaked with other colors. Avery's aura was definitely gold, but there was something wrong with it. The brightness flickered, like a lightbulb with only a few minutes of juice left in it. Something was off about the expression she wore on her face too. Her normally pretty and demure features were distorted by rage and disgust.

"You shouldn't have done that, Adrian," she said, shaking her head as she spoke.

"Done what? I saved Lissa's life! You let her jump out of a window for Christ's sake! What were you two thinking?"

The magic swirling within me had begun to die down, but roared to life when I mentioned Lissa's death.

Lissa.

Avery's sudden appearance had nearly caused me to forget what had happened just moments earlier. I whipped around and nearly sagged in relief when I noticed her stirring on the ground below me. I ran over and knelt by her side. She was pale, even for a Moroi, but she was breathing. Breathing was enough for me, for right now.

"What's going on here?"

I looked up to find Reed standing next to Avery.

"Why are you two just standing there," I yelled. "Go find help!"

They both ignored my question, instead Reed starting spewing out a bunch of bullshit.

"Are you sure that will work? Both of them?"

What the hell? What was he even talking about, what –

There. I could see it in their auras. They were bonded, how could I have been so stupid? I recognized the same phenomenon that I had witnessed take place between Rose and Lissa on multiple occasions; the transfer of darkness between bond-mates. What was happening here? Why would she have gone to such lengths to cover up her abilities, and why was she so angry now?

"Can we handle both of them?" Asked Reed.

"Simon will be here soon," she told him matter-of-factly.

Something was wrong. I heard Lissa's breathing beside me become more rapid and shallow. I had healed the worst of her injuries, but what if it wasn't enough? I had to get her out of here, and it didn't seem like the Lazaar siblings were going to be any help. In fact, their reactions to the current situation made me think they were going to do the opposite of help. I slipped my arms beneath Lissa's frail frame and attempted to lift her into the air. I had considered myself pretty well built for a Moroi up until this moment, but lifting the dead weight of a teenage girl turned out to be a little more difficult than I had anticipated. I settled for dragging her towards the entrance of the nearest building.

"Don't make this more difficult than it needs to be," Avery had made her way over to me.

She bent down, locking eyes with my own.

"Stop it, Adrian. She's fine."

Was she right? Was Lissa fine? I looked down at the girl in my arms. Her eyes were closed and her lips were parted as tiny gasps attempted to escape them. Lissa was not fine, why was Avery lying to me? She had lied to me about everything, how had I believed a word she'd said?

Compulsion.

I snapped my eyes shut, realizing that Avery's deceit ran much deeper than what I had been able to figure out so far. I continued to drag Lissa's body toward the door, but it was a slow going process. I didn't know what Avery's intentions were, but they weren't good. So I did the only thing I could think of. I started screaming.

"Help! Strigoi, there's a Strigoi on campus!"

It was a lie. But I figured it would be the quickest way to call anyone to action. I only hoped that it would be a guardian.

As it happened, a guardian did come. I felt a strong hand clamp over my mouth, muffling my shouts.

"Simon! There you are! We don't have a lot of time, this idiot has nearly ruined everything," Avery said, gesturing in my direction.

I struggled against Simon's hold, but it was no use. I felt Lissa stir in my arms, and I tried not to think about whether or not either of us would survive the night.

"What are you doing? Release him!"

I never thought I would ever be happy to see Guardian Alto, but right now, I could have kissed him. He had given Rose a hard time on a number of occasions and was just an overall unpleasant person to be around. He had come running from around the corner of one of the buildings that contained guest housing, probably on perimeter patrol.

I felt Simon twitch from behind me. His muscles were tensed and he seemed like he wanted to release me, but couldn't.

"Stand down!" Shouted Alto.

Avery whipped her head around to stare at where Alto now stood. She was going to compel him, I realized. I could feel her channeling her powers into compulsion, and at the same time, I felt Simon's grasp on me falter. She was drawing strength from Simon too. Holy hell, was there anyone left on campus that Avery wasn't bonded to? It didn't matter, I seized the opportunity. I let Lissa slip from my grasp and whirled around to meet Simon's gaze head on.

"Go to sleep!" I shouted, mustering every ounce of spirit I could manage.

Healing Lissa had drained me, but despite that expense of power, I could feel spirit and adrenaline coursing throughout my body. Simon's eyes had begun to glaze over but I could feel him fighting the compulsion, so I repeated the command, drawing on even more power. Simon's eyes fluttered, and then shut completely as he slumped to the ground.

I heard Avery let out a scream from some where behind me. Apparently her attempt at using compulsion on Alto hadn't gone over very well. That must have prompted Reed to attack Alto, but it hadn't gone his way. He now lay sprawled on the ground, with his arms pinned behind his back.

"Stop resisting! I want to let you go, but I need to know you're not going to try anything like that again."

The man was obviously confused. He was used to protecting Moroi, not dodging their flimsy attacks. Avery looked up, having realized I had incapacitated Simon. She was livid.

"You!" She screeched. "We could have had everything! You did this!"

Her aura flared to life as she strode toward me, she was brimming with spirit and was preparing to unleash it in full force. I prepared to do the same, but realized my magic supply was all but depleted. I summoned what I could and locked eyes with Avery, preparing to battle it out. She should have overpowered me almost immediately, but to my surprise I was able to hold my own. She was trying to compel me to sleep, but it wasn't working. I was trying to do the same and soon Avery was gritting her teeth as she struggled to fight my control. I was strong, much stronger than I should have been. From some where in my peripheries, I noticed that some one had come to stand beside me.

Lissa.

She was drawing on her own powers to compel Avery, but to do what, I wasn't sure. I could feel the magic swelling within Lissa, but it was different magic. Darker magic. There was none of the warmth that I usually felt when some one used spirit around me. Lissa took another step toward Avery, she was practically vibrating as the magic pulsed through her. She stared down at Avery, and with that one look, Avery fell to her knees.

She brought her hands up to either side of her head and let out a blood-curdling scream. Reed started screaming too, and Alto quickly released his hold on the young Moroi. Behind me, Simon was thrashing. Their screams filled the air, and then as suddenly as they had started, they stopped. Avery just sat there, wide eyed and dumbfounded. Both Reed and Simon had stopped moving. Alto looked just as confused as Avery, but I had no time to deal with either of them. I had barely enough time to rush forward as Lissa collapsed into my arms.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here is another update – I've got so much planned for this series, I hope you guys like it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, or any of its characters. All rights go to Richelle Mead.**

**RPOV**

I kept waiting for my body to give out; for my legs to quiver, for my breath to slow, for my eyelids to flutter shut. It never happened. Dimitri had recovered his strength quickly, and we had spent most of the day reuniting on a more physical level. I now laid on the red satin sheets of the bed we had spent the last few hours destroying. I was completely naked, save for a few feathers that were now scattered across my flesh and around the room. The goose down pillows had been one of many casualties. The headboard was smashed into the wall, and judging from the strange angle of the bed, I guessed one of the legs supporting it had given out. I reached my arms above my head, stretching my limbs like a cat, before rolling over to face Dimitri. The red eyes I had once found so terrifying looked at me hungrily. He pulled me closer to him so that my head laid on his chest. A few months ago, I might have found this gesture to be sweet or romantic, now it made me feel like he was trying to establish dominance over me. Dimitri had always been my superior, but things were different now. There were no more rules, no more student-teacher standards to live by. I would abide by no ones word but my own. I was finally free; free of everything, I realized for the first time.

The bond was gone. Mark and Oksana had told me about someone they had known who had lost their bond-mate, they said it had almost driven him insane. Is that what Lissa was feeling right now? Did she even know it was gone? Probably not. She had always taken our connection for granted, she had taken me for granted. She used her magic without sparing even a second thought for what it would mean for me. Her darkness would no longer bleed into me, threatening to push me over the edge. I was already gone.

Dimitri had begun tracing a lazy pattern on my back with his fingers, "What did I tell you?" He asked, his thick Russian accent wrapping around me like an embrace.

"You also once told me that you would rather die than be Strigoi," I told him casually. "Looks like we were both wrong."

He chuckled, though it was devoid of any emotion that might fill a living being's laughter, but that no longer bothered me. Nothing bothered me.

I began studying him. I was still drawn to him, there was no denying that. I wanted him all to myself and would rip the head off of any woman who even looked at him wrong. But there was no fondness to the way I regarded him. There was no love. Love seemed such a fickle thing to me now. How many wars had been fought? How many people had died, all in the name of love? I pitied the countless number of people who would spend their existence living like slaves, all because they were in love.

"So what comes next?" I asked him.

He considered my question for a moment before speaking. "We have a lot of work to do. I'll need to make a few phone calls. You left quite a trail of bodies behind in your daring escape attempt."

I scoffed at his use of the word attempt, but decided to let it go. The technicalities of what had happened didn't matter. Things had obviously worked out for the better.

"I had to take Galina out a little earlier than I had originally intended, but we can deal with that. There are a few other holes in our ranks that will need filling as well."

"Why?" I asked bluntly.

"Why, what?"

"Why do we have to work with other Strigoi at all?"

"Being awakened isn't all about blood and sex," he told me.

That wasn't exactly the response I was expecting. In fact, the only things I had wanted so far were blood and sex, in any order.

"Galina has left behind quite the empire, it's ours for the taking. We can have whatever we want; money, power. It becomes even easier when you have underlings. That's why we need to recruit."

"There's a group of Dhampirs living in Novosibirsk, I know how they work. Besides, they've probably grown pretty sloppy without me at the helm. It should be easy enough to turn them."

Dimitri smiled at me, flashing his fangs, "Perfect, turning them ourselves will increase their loyalty us."

"What about humans?" I asked. "What about blood?"

"Yes, Roza, there will be blood."

**LPOV**

"I am telling you the truth! Avery is a spirit user, just like me!" I was sitting in the newly reinstated headmistress Kirova's office, only I couldn't remember how I had gotten here.

Kirova looked at me skeptically, not saying anything.

"She…I don't know, something went wrong, she used too much spirit and it drove her mad. It happens. It happened to Sonya Karp!"

That was a lie, well sort of. She had gone insane from using spirit, but it hadn't come from her.

"Then explain what happened to her brother, and to her guardian! Did they also go mad?" The tone she used sounded like it was meant to mock my explanation, but I ignored it.

I hadn't yet decided if it mattered whether or not people knew about Avery's bond situation with her brother and guardian. My decision was made when I finally realized I had no explanation, other than the truth.

"She was bonded to them, you know like St. Vlad and Anna? I guess whatever happened to Avery happened to them too."

She pinched the bridge of her nose and let out an exasperated sigh.

"We will of course need to verify all of this. However right now, all three of them are completely incoherent. For now, you're free to go."

"Lovely," I said, rising from my chair.

I made a beeline for the door, patting down my pockets as I went. I was in desperate need of a cigarette and knew smoking one would be out of the question once I had reached the medical ward. I needed to check on Lissa.

Check on Lissa? Why was I going to check on myself? How could I be in Kirova's office and in the medical ward at the same time?

That's exactly where I was though. I could hear the beeping of machines, and the soft murmurs of nurses out in the hallway. But what I saw was something different entirely; I was walking across the lawns, I was smoking a cigarette. I could feel the smoke filling up my lungs, burning my throat, yet offering a sweet relief at the same time. My senses were at war in my head, and I thought the conflict would tear me apart.

One version of my existence started screaming, and I could feel someone's hands on my shoulders. They tried to soothe me, but it was useless. The pain in my head was agonizing. But after what seemed like years, I felt the two sides of me being slowly pulled back together, like some one zipping up the front of their jacket. I soon found myself sitting in a room within the academy's medical ward. My head still ached, but it was nothing compared to the hole I now felt in my chest. It was like some one had ripped out a part of my soul. There was a black hole swirling within me, threatening to consume me. My whole body shuttered and I was racked with sobs, unable to control any of my emotions. There was so much darkness, more than I had ever felt in my entire life.

Rose. I needed Rose, she would fix this.

Rose was gone though, she had left me for him. It dawned on me suddenly, the reason for the ache in my chest. Until now, I had never realized that a part of me had always been aware of her presence in my head, aware of the bond. It was gone now, that part of me was gone.

I let out another scream as I spiraled further into my fit. I wanted to bang my fists on the wall, or to rake my nails across my own skin, anything. I couldn't though, some one had had the foresight to restrain my wrists and ankles. I struggled against the padded cuffs, hoping it might cause enough physical pain to block out the internal pain that filled every part of me.

"Lissa! Shhh, everything is fine, you're safe now."

The voice was vaguely familiar, but it was wrong.

"She's dead," I gasped. "Rose is dead."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, or any of its characters. All rights go to Richelle Mead.**

**APOV**

"She's dead, Rose is dead."

"Lissa, please, you have to stop. Rose isn't dead, she just had to leave the academy for a little while, remember?"

Lissa had been hysterical when I'd first arrived, screaming over and over again that Rose was gone. I had tried everything to soothe her, but it seemed like nothing I said even registered with her. Her screams had eventually died off, her voice was hoarse now – barely a whisper. She was banging her head against her pillow, pulling at her restraints. I couldn't stand to see her like this. Lissa was one of the few people in my life that I not only cared about, but who cared about me in return. I couldn't lose her.

"She's dead," her voice was soft.

I reached a hand toward her tentatively, scared that my touch might set her off again. I decided to take the risk, and slipped my hand into hers. She tensed, but didn't react beyond that. Her eyes were squeezed shut, but a few tears managed to escape and they began steadily trickling down her pale cheeks.

"Adrian," she whispered. "She's gone, really gone."

I let out a sigh of relief, not at the content of Lissa's words, but at the mention of my name. It meant a part of the girl I had known was still there. Lissa hadn't been acting right for weeks, she was reckless and didn't seem to care about anything. Well she cared now.

"Lissa, Rose is fine. I saw her in a dream not two days ago," I reassured her.

Maybe fine wasn't really the most appropriate word to use, but Lissa didn't need to know that. I chose not to mention that Rose had been completely doped up on vampire bites at the time.

"No," she whined. "She's not fine. I can't feel her any more, in my head. It's like someones ripped her away from me."

This was troubling, the bond that Lissa and Rose shared was a rare phenomenon. I only understood it based on what they had told me, and what I had seen when I observed their auras.

"It's so strange…" Her voice trailed off as she lost herself in her thoughts.

"A lot of things happened tonight," I told her. "Do you remember…do you remember what happened, how you ended up here?"

She stared at a spot on the wall thoughtfully, trying to puzzle the pieces together.

"I died," she said, barely loud enough for even my heightened sense of hearing to pick up. "I jumped off of the ledge and I died."

"Lissa, I know you haven't been yourself lately, but why…why would you do that? Was it spirit?"

I knew first hand what the madness of spirit felt like. It was what drove me to smoke and drink in excess, what had driven Lissa to cut herself, both of us seeking some kind of relief. We had both flirted with death on multiple occasions, trying to keep the darkness at bay.

"It was Avery," she told me. "I could feel her compelling me the whole time, but I couldn't stop it. I didn't want to stop, I just wanted to make her happy. Why would she do that, Adrian?"

Avery's intentions were still a mystery to me. She had gone to a lot of trouble to hide her aura from Lissa and me, not to mention the amount of spirit she would have had to use on a daily basis to compel us both. Why all the mind games? Why had she tried to kill Lissa? I started to speak but a gasp from Lissa cut me off.

"Adrian! I should be dead, I jumped! Adrian, how am I here? How –"

I grimaced, I had wondered when this would come up.

"Because I healed you."

Her face grew dark and troubled, she was trying desperately to figure something out. A deafening silence filled the room, save for the beeping of Lissa's heart monitor.

"That makes me shadow-kissed…and, Adrian, I saw…I saw you coming here, I was in Kirova's office!"

Her words confirmed what had been lurking in the back of my mind since coming to the medical ward. I had all but exhausted my supply of magic for the time being, but I had a feeling that if I tried to bring her aura into focus, it would be tinged in black.

"But I'm a spirit user, I give life! What does this mean?"

I hadn't thought about this. A spirit user who was also shadow-kissed? The two were practically opposite ways of existing. What would the side effects of such a paradox be? I thought back to what I had witnessed when Lissa had turned her magic on Avery; it was like nothing I had ever seen before.

"I don't know, Lissa, but I have a feeling nothing is going to be the same any more."

I thought about how unstable the auras of Avery, Reed, and Simon had been. Bonding with more than one person didn't seem safe, and I worried what it would mean for Lissa and Rose. Would Rose be bonded to me through Lissa now?

"Rose is dead," Lissa told me, her voice cracking.

"What?"

She gave me a knowing look, the bond, right. Lissa would know everything I did now.

Shit.

My fingers twitched, I began patting down my pockets out of habit. I needed a cigarette. This was getting too complicated and I felt like I had a massive spirit hangover.

"Lissa, for the last time, Rose is not dead."

She couldn't be. Rose was the strongest, fiercest, most passionate human being I had ever met. I had known it from the first moment I had laid eyes on her. Surely, if such a blaze of pure energy had gone out, the whole world would have gone dark.

Lissa shook her head at me and more tears began to carve little paths down her cheeks.

"I know you don't believe me," she told me, barely able to choke out her words. "But it's true."

"No," I said without even thinking. "I can prove it to you. I can find her."

Enough was enough, Rose needed to come home. Lissa needed her, and with all the problems that psychic bonds could create, I knew that we would all need to be together to deal with any possible consequences of a multiway bond.

I pulled out my cell phone and dialed the number for the bank where I had opened Rose an account. I had promised her I wouldn't spy on her or track her spending, but we were beyond that now. I gave the account number and an access code, and then asked for a list of the most recent transactions.

"You're sure?" I asked the man on the other line.

"Positive, the most recent transaction took place at what I think is a grocery store in a small town in Siberia."

Was this a joke? What had Rose been doing in Siberia?

"I need you to send that list to me," I told him.

"Where would you like it sent, Mr. Ivashkov?"

I gave him my email address and then ended the phone call. Rose's spending pattern was troubling, especially since it had eventually tapered off. She hadn't used the debit card or accessed the account for weeks now. I decided I wouldn't tell Lissa that last bit.

"Adrian, stop trying to hide things from me."

"Christ, Lissa! Can you stay out of my head for five minutes.? It's muddled enough with just me in there."

She glared at me, but then her face became sad again.

"See," she whispered. "Rose, hasn't spent any money in weeks."

"That doesn't mean anything," I told her, trying to reassure myself as much as I was her.

I began undoing Lissa's ankle and wrist restraints.

"Adrian, what are you doing?"

"I thought you knew everything? We're going to Siberia."


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry this took forever! I've been trying to wrap up my other story, To Serve and Protect. Check it out if you haven't already. Also be on the look out for my next fic, I'm still not sure what the title will be, but it's essentially The Golden Lilly told from Rose and Dimitri's POVs.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, or any of its characters. All rights go to Richelle Mead.**

**RPOV**

I have always been beautiful. Even before my awakening, I had known that my looks made most men do a double-take. Now I would bring them to their knees, and probably to their eventual deaths. After my tryst with Dimitri, I had decided to take a shower. My skin had been smeared with a mixture of dried blood and dirt, and I knew I would need to look my best for what we had planned later.

I stared into a slightly fogged mirror that hung in the bathroom of some random suite in Galina's mansion. I suppose it was my mansion now.

I tilted my head to one side as I stared admiringly at my reflection. My once tanned skin was a ghostly shade of white. It contrasted sharply with my dark tresses, and the red in my eyes seemed to bring out the subtle auburn highlights in my hair. I was completely naked, and completely flawless. My skin was like porcelain, and there was not a single imperfection to be seen. The corners of my lips pulled up into a smile, one that revealed the two razor sharp fangs that lay in wait beneath my plump lips.

I begin opening up all the drawers and cabinets, and stopped when I found a hairbrush. Even it was extravagant, the handle was encrusted with small gems and the bristles were delicate and soft. I pulled it through my wet hair, relishing in the feel of it. My awakening had turned small acts, like brushing my hair, into undeniably pleasurable experiences.

After, I strolled into the room where Dimitri lay on the bed, he glanced up from his western novel. I was surprised, and frankly a little annoyed, when his eyes didn't bug out of his head at the sight of my body. Instead, he smirked.

"Is that what you plan on wearing tonight?" he asked me, raising one eyebrow.

"You don't like it?" I responded, puckering out my bottom lip in mock disappointment.

His eyes swept over me, drinking in every inch of my exposed flesh. The old Rose probably would have blushed, but that girl was dead.

"I like it," he said in a low, hungry tone. "But I don't like sharing what's mine."

I kept my face expressionless. This wasn't the first time he had stated that I belonged to him, or that he has tried to control me. His need to dominant me was potentially problematic, but I decided to let it slide for now. I would, however, have to eventually force him see the reality of the situation – we were equals.

"I'm going back to my little prison to finish getting ready," I told him, sweeping my hair over my shoulder. "By the way, I want a new room."

I was out the door before he had a chance to respond.

When I returned to the hallway that led to the room where Dimitri had held me captive, I saw that both of the industrial security doors had been busted wide open. Dimitri had apparently decided to barrel through them in a blind rage to stop me from escaping. This amused me, considering he could have just entered the pass codes.

I found my make up and the curling iron that had been provided for me. I applied enough eye make up to some what distort the red rings around my eyes. Bronzer and blush went a long way in accentuating my bone structure, and the shade of lipstick I chose was blood red. I hoped that later tonight they would become smothered with actual blood. By the time I had chosen an appropriate outfit, my hair was dry enough to be styled into long ringlets that fell down my back.

I was quite pleased with my appearance, in the dark, a human wouldn't suspect a thing. I had rifled through my closet until I had found a tight black dress made of velour. It clung to me in all the right places, and the plunging neck line left little to the imagination. I paired it with a pair of dark thigh highs, pulling them up just far enough so that a bit of lace that lined the tops could be seen beneath the hem of my dress. I wasn't impressed with my choice of shoes though, and decided to go exploring.

I wondered into suites at random, finally I stumbled into what I assumed was the master suite. The closet alone was big enough to hold my dorm room back at St. Vladimir's at least three times over. Apparently Galina had expensive taste. The walls were paneled with dark, shiny wood, and the floors were marble, swirling with gold and white. Sconces burned with electric candles along the walls, and everything shone with a warm glow. One wall was lined with nothing but shoes, of every style and color. I selected a pair of black stilettos and slipped them on. The fit wasn't exactly right, but it was close enough. At another end of the room was a full length mirror, I glanced at myself. I looked great, but there was still something missing. I turned to the endless racks of clothing and found what I was looking for. It was a dark leather jacket – similar to the one I had borrowed on my first night of hunting in Novosibirsk.

Perfect.

I found Dimitri waiting for me in foyer, a hungry look crossed his features as I descended the staircase. I let my earlier thoughts of having to remind him who was in control slip to the back of my mind. He looked just as good as I did – dressed all in black and his hair pulled into a ponytail at the nape of his neck. Even his duster was sexy. I thought back to something Victor Dashkov had said to me before his trial –_ You two are a match made in heaven, or somewhere._

He was right, we were matched.

I let him take my hand, he even went as far as to bend down to kiss me on the mouth.

"It's our first date, comrade," I told him smoothly.

He looked amused, "I suppose it is."

The sun had already sank deep into the horizon, and it was time for Dimitri and I to go hunting.

"Are you sure you will be able to find the Dhampirs in the city?" He asked me.

I scowled, again annoyed at his lack of faith in my abilities.

"Yes," I told him coolly. "I know how they like to hunt…in fact, if we leave now, we might be able to catch Tamara getting off of work."

"Will she put up a fight?"

My lips turned up into a wicked grin, "Yes, but she's no match for us."

**LPOV**

My head was still reeling after my conversation with Adrian in the hospital. He hadn't believed me, he thought Rose was out there somewhere, still alive. He thought she was in Siberia of all places. Maybe she had been there, maybe she was still there – but she wasn't alive.

I fought to hold back tears as I ripped my clothes off of the hangers and shoved them into a duffle bag. Adrian and I didn't have a lot of time, we had to leave the academy, and we had to do it before the sunset and the vampiric world awoke. I didn't bother packing toiletries or anything else, we could buy anything we needed on the road, and I was anxious to leave.

I could feel Adrian's own anxiety trickling into me and mixing with my own. I suddenly broke down into a fit of coughing.

Adrian was probably smoking. I knew how calming his habits were to him, but they weren't having the same effect on me. I would have to ask him to lay off, but I didn't want to pressure him either. I broke free of the coughing and sucked in a deep breath of fresh air, trying to rid myself of the lingering feelings of smoke filling up my lungs.

_Lissa!_

I froze, Adrian was calling to me. I shivered at how strange it felt to hear Adrian's thoughts echoing through my mind. How had Rose ever learned to deal with the bond? She was so much stronger than I was, so much braver.

_Lissa, we need to go, meet me on the bottom floor of your dorm as soon as you can._

I zipped up the duffle bag and took one last look at my room. My eyes stopped when my gaze swept over my dresser. On the top, sat a framed photo of Rose and me. We were dressed up for Halloween, our lids smothered in glitter and each of us sporting a pair of fairy wings. I snatched the photo off the dresser and pressed it to my heart before storming out of my room.

The halls of my dorm were silent as a tomb, and I crept down the stairs and into the lobby. I found Adrian waiting for me in one of the common areas. His hands were shaking, and a limp cigarette hung between his lips. I glanced around, and saw that the dorm matron was passed out in her seat behind the desk. I didn't need to ask what had happened, I sifted through the contents of Adrian's mind, and saw that he had compelled her to sleep not five minutes before I had arrived.

He grabbed my hand and began pulling me toward the door. We were both exhausted as we half-ran, half-stumbled across the lush green lawns of St. Vladimir's. Would I ever come back to this place? I glanced around and felt a dull ache spread throughout my chest.

"Adrian, wait!" I managed to say through my haggard breathing. "What about Christian? I need to say good bye!"

He turned back to stare at me, but continued dragging me along behind him. He shook his head at me.

_We can't involve him. He would be the first person I would go to if I was trying to figure out where you had run off to._

I was already annoyed with Adrian's use of the bond. He probably wouldn't bother speaking out loud to me ever again.

We finally reached the parking garage, my legs burned from the physical exertion and I had no idea how Adrian was still standing. I felt a surge of fear come through the bond as he realized he would have to compel anyone inside to forget us – he didn't think he had enough spirit left to do it.

"Adrian," I said in a whisper. "Let me."

I stood up from behind the bush we had been crouching behind and glanced around, ensuring no one was around. I pulled him up after me, and together we slipped through the door. It had barely clicked shut when I heard the scuffle of footsteps coming toward us.

It was a guardian, a man who I thought mostly patrolled the elementary campus.

"What are you two doing here?" he demanded.

I decided not to waste any time and I immediately locked eyes with him. I reached deep within me, calling on spirit for the first time since I had been brought back to life. But as the magic began to fill me, I remembered it wasn't the first time. I had used spirit to compel Avery – it had driven her insane.

The magic that swirled within me felt different, it was thick and dark. But it was powerful, more powerful than any amount of magic I had ever wielded.

"Stop," I told the guardian sternly.

His eyes glazed over almost instantly

"Bring me the keys to your fastest vehicle."

He stared at me unblinkingly before turning on his heels and making his way toward a cabinet that lined one of the walls. He opened it to reveal a line of hooks, each with a set of keys dangling from it. He selected a set and pressed them into the palm of my hand.

"Return to your quarters," I commanded. "Go to sleep and forget you ever saw us. If anyone asks, you got sick and had to end your shift early."

His jaw had gone slack, and I sensed that the magic was overwhelming him. I tried to reign some of it back in, but it was hard. The dark magic was intoxicating.

Instead of obeying me, he slumped to the ground. Seeing him unconscious snapped me back into reality. I knelt down, wanting to heal him if I could, but Adrian pulled me back.

"There's no time, cousin."

He took the keys from my hand and began clicking the unlock button, searching for a set of flashing lights.

"There," I said pointing to a black corvette.

"I didn't have you pegged as a corvette kind of girl," he told me jokingly.

"Give me the keys, Adrian," I said, ignoring his jab. "I'll need to compel the gate guard too."

He opened his mouth to argue with me, but stopped when he realized I was right.

He tossed them to me and I slipped into the sleek leather seats of the corvette. As soon as Adrian was sitting next to me, I turned the keys and the engine revved to life. We locked eyes for only a moment, before I slammed the car into gear and pressed the pedal to the floor.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Rose – **_

I led Dimitri by the hand through the streets of Novosibirsk. My familiarity with a city in his native land seemed to thrill him, and he had no qualms with letting me take the lead. I found that I could recall every detail of the city, every building, every park, and every crack in the sidewalk. The moon shone like the sun, and my Strigoi senses missed nothing. I felt like I was seeing the world for the first time, and I guess in a way, I was. Tall buildings loomed on all sides of me, and I could hear the cars as they sped down the narrow streets. The air was thick with a mixture of sweet aromas, but none of them appealed to me in the same way that blood had. The thought of more blood made me shiver with anticipation.

I came to a halt suddenly at the end of a city block. Any other being would have been caught off guard by my abruptness and run right into me, but Dimitri didn't miss a beat.

"We're here," I told him.

He narrowed his eyes, probably trying to determine what made this particular block so special. "Where exactly is here?" he asked me, raising an eyebrow.

The corners of my lips quirked up in amusement, "You'll see."

Right on cue, a group of people spilled out of the door to one of the apartment buildings. There were four of them, three males and a female, all of them dressed in club attire. Dimitri tensed beside me. "Dhampirs?" he asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"The unpromised ones I told you about."

Dimitri turned to gaze down at me. Despite my heels, he was still considerably taller than I was. "They're perfect," he said. His Russian accent had gotten thicker since returning to Siberia, and it only made me want him more.

We both studied the group intently, and I ran my tongue across the tips of both my fangs, wondering what it would feel like when I pierced the delicate skin of their necks.

"Can we turn them all?" I asked, puckering out my bottom lip.

Dimitri's red eyes darkened as he considered my words. "We can do whatever you want, Roza. We can have the world." He leaned down to press a kiss to my lips. My skin was normally cold as ice, but warmth seemed to spread throughout my body as he kissed me harder. I ran my hands over his taught chest, leaving one splayed across his heart and tangling the other in his hair. I didn't need the world. I needed him to touch me.

He pulled away before the kiss could turn into something else entirely, a knowing look on his face. "Let's go."

We followed the Dhampirs down the streets of Novosibirsk, careful to maintain a safe distance. My shoes clicked against the concrete of the sidewalk, and a few people stopped to gawk at me as I strode passed them.

Dimitri wrapped one arm around my waist, pulling me close to him so that no one would mistake me for anything other than his. I didn't mind. It also let the women who turned to stare at Dimitri know that they didn't stand a chance. Humans were nothing compared to the might of the Strigoi.

The Dhampirs stopped in front of a building that looked more like a warehouse than a nightclub, but I recognized it as the first place I had gone hunting when I came to Novosibirsk. Denis opened the door to the club and gestured for the others to enter. Loud, thumping music poured out onto the streets, filling the air with a heavy bass beat. The four of them disappeared into the club, and Dimitri immediately turned on me.

"Try not to draw attention to yourself after we've done inside," he said, his undead eyes cold and calculating

"I can't help it that people are drawn to me," I said, batting my eyelashes and feigning innocence.

"I'm serious," he growled.

"So am I," I snapped, "We're a team now, stop telling me what to do. I'm not an idiot, I know better than to snap some human's neck in the middle of the dance floor."

"That's not what I'm worried about," he hissed. "Don't make direct eye contact with anyone, and watch your movements. You're stronger, and faster than you can imagine."

"I think you underestimate my imagination," I told him as I ran a hand through my hair. "It would probably make you blush."

His red eyes flashed with amusement. "We'll have to test that out later."

Dimitri reached for my hand without another word and pulled me toward the club. He wrenched open the door and the sounds and smells nearly fried my heightened senses. Smoke and sweat and alcohol hung heavy in the air, and the sounds of glasses clinking and people laughing mixed with the bass in a symphony of desperation and reckless abandon.

I focused on the way Dimitri's skin burned against mine as he held my hand and led me through the sea of writhing bodies that crowded every corner of the club. I had to keep my eyes narrowed to avoid being blinded by the strobe lights. Suddenly I didn't find the idea of hunting in a nightclub very appealing.

Dimitri had no problem carving a path to the bar, the people parted for him like the Red Sea. He ordered two drinks and pressed one of them into my hand.

"Don't drink it," he whispered into my ear. "Just hold onto it, pretending to drink helps us blend."

I nodded my understanding and pressed the rim of the glass to my lips. "Let's dance," I said, lowering the glass.

I turned on my heel, not waiting for him to follow, not actually caring if he did. My heart was beating in time with the music, and the fact that my heart was even still beating felt like something that needed to be celebrated. I found a spot on the dance floor and closed my eyes, letting the sounds fill me up. I began to move, swaying and turning, not paying attention to anything but the way the music pulsed through me.

A hand on my wrist interrupted my dancing, and I fought the urge to turn on them and rip their throat out. I recalled the promise I had made about not murdering humans, and I steeled myself, twisting around to see who had dared to touch me. I glanced down at the hand and saw that the nails were painted black. My eyes slowly swept from their wrist and up their arm to the hollow of their neck and eventually I found myself staring into the face of Tamara.

I tilted my head to the side so that my dark hair swept across my eyes and offered her the most disarming smile I could manage.

"Rose!" she said, struggling to be heard over the music. I could hear her just fine though.

"Tamara!" I squealed. "It's so good to see you!"

She leaned in closer, cupping a hand to her ear. "What? I'm sorry, I can barely hear you."

"Come on," I told her, beckoning her to follow me. "It's quieter outside."

Tamara followed me without hesitation as I wove a path through the bar patrons. We passed under the growing Cyrillic sign that marked the exit to the back alley. I pushed open the door and strode out into the poorly lit alley, taking special care to keep my back to Tamara.

"Rose," she said, closing the door behind her. "It's so good to see you!"

"It's good to see you too," I said softly, turning my head slowly to peer over my shoulder.

"We thought that…we thought you were dead." Tamara said, wringing her hands together nervously.

I could hear the emotion in her voice, the fear, the guilt, and the relief. It was strange that I could still recognize emotions, but I harbored none of them myself.

"I'm not dead," I told her, my voice smooth as silk. "I have never felt more alive."

Tamara was beginning to sweat, and I could hear her heart begin to work harder to pump the blood faster. I closed my eyes and inhaled the scent, focusing on her pulse. It was the best song I'd heard all night.

"Rose," she whispered. "What happened to you?"

Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw her hand move toward the inside pocket of her leather jacket. I spun around faster than I thought possible and charged her. One of my hands wrapped around her throat and the other went for her wrist. I pushed her back until we collided with the brick wall, her head knocking back into it. In her hand was a silver stake that she had managed to grab before my assault. She struggled against me, trying to scrape the stake against my skin.

"Drop it," I growled through my fangs, squeezing her wrist.

Her eyes were wide with terror, and her heart was racing. I felt a carnal need begin to take over and I leaned in to graze my fangs across the delicate skin of her neck. Tamara screamed but her cries turned to moans the moment I sank my teeth into her. I pushed my body against hers and the stake clattered to the floor.

**I'm not sure if anyone still reads this? Oh well! I know it's been a while, but I'm going to start rotating my writing schedule so that I can update each of my stories at least once a week! **


	8. Chapter 8

_**Adrian – **_

"What do you mean you don't have Hendrick's?"

"Sir, this is coach," said a small, redheaded flight attendant.

I grimaced before responding. "Ugh, don't remind me. Just bring me whatever you have then," I told her with a dismissive wave. I was too exhausted to be charming.

She nodded her head and scurried away as fast as her pencil skirt and heels would allow. A part of me felt bad for the way I had treated her. After all, it wasn't her fault that the only two remaining seats on our flight had been in the economy section.

"Adrian," hissed Lissa from the seat next to me. "Do you really think drinking is a good idea?"

I fought the urge to roll my eyes at her. "Gin is always a good idea." I had to fight to keep the irritation I felt welling within me out of my voice.

Healing Lissa had left me drained, and the numbness that I could find only at the bottom of a bottle beckoned to me. I clenched my fists, letting my fingernails dig into my palms. I relished the pain, I needed it. I also needed a cigarette. Whatever imbecile had decided to ban smoking on airplanes had obviously never had to deal with the symptoms of Spirit withdrawal.

I felt a hand clamp down over mine, squeezing reassuringly. My fist slackened, but my palms were now red and dotted with tiny crescent scars.

"Hey," said Lissa, her voice more soothing and less accusatory than before. "I'm sorry; I know how hard this is for you."

I snorted. "I'm sure you do."

I didn't mean to sound bitter; my newly formed bond with Lissa was a side effect of saving her life. I didn't regret what I had done, if I lived a hundred lifetimes, I would save her every time. But knowing that she was in my head was unnerving. It was bad enough that I had to deal with the twisted thoughts that occasionally surfaced in my mind, and now Lissa would too.

Lissa recoiled and sank a little further into her seat, the worn out leather squeaking beneath her as she did.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I'm sorry," I told her, mustering as much sincerity as I could. "That wasn't fair of me to say."

"I get it," she whispered. "You didn't ask for any of this."

"No," I admitted. "I didn't, but neither did you."

Lissa didn't ask for her best friend to run away. She didn't ask for Avery to compel her everyday – to lie and manipulate her – to slowly drive her insane. Lissa didn't ask to die.

"Don't you dare feel sorry for me," she said through tears and gritted teeth. "This is all my fault. How could I have been so blind? She was in love with him and I didn't see it!" She buried her face in the palms of her hands.

I thought about the first time I had ever seen Rose interact with her mentor, I thought about the way their auras had glowed and then reached out for each other. Even if I hadn't been gifted with the ability to view auras, I would have known the truth. Their feelings were written all over their faces, and in the way they had watched each other.

I forced the images from my mind, for my sake and for Lissa's.

"And then I let her leave," said Lissa, her words muffled by her hands. "I should have made her stay, compelled her!"

I shook my head. "Nothing you could have done would have kept Rose away from him," I told her bleakly.

"You don't know that," she snapped. "And now Rose is dead because of me!"

Fear coiled in the pit of my stomach. Lissa was still convinced that Rose was dead, and the thought made me want vomit and scream and punch something all at the same time. I refused to believe her though, not until I had exhausted every lead. I would go to the ends of the Earth if I had to.

Luckily the flight attendant returned with a plastic cup filled with ice just then. She set it down gingerly on the folding tray in front of me and then withdrew a novelty sized bottle from one of her pockets. She poured the contents of the bottle into the cup and offered me a forced smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Thanks," I grumbled.

She turned on her heel and left, probably eager to get away before I could ask her for another drink. I downed the drink in one gulp, cringing at the taste. The liquid burned all the way down, and I knew it would bring no relief.

Lissa made a slight gagging sound. "God, what was that stuff? Battery acid?"

I couldn't help but chuckle. "Worse," I said, setting the cup down on the tray table. "Cheap gin."

Lissa smiled meekly and then turned to gaze out the tiny plane window. There was nothing but endless night sky waiting beyond the thick glass. Somewhere beneath us was the Pacific Ocean. We had driven to Portland from the academy and boarded a plane to Siberia from there. So far we had been pretty lucky in our travels and hadn't run into any problems that couldn't be solved using money and compulsion.

I had called the bank every day since we had escaped the academy, just in case Rose made any withdrawals from the account I set up in her name. She hadn't. Her last known location remained a grocery store in Siberia.

"Do you think they're looking for us?" asked Lissa, her voice sounding far away.

"Probably," I said, staring at the empty cup. "They're at least looking for you. The Academy is probably grateful to be rid of me."

We'd managed to make most of our purchases using cash, and hadn't remained in any one place longer than a few hours. It had meant sleeping in the cramped corvette most nights and compelling unsuspecting humans, but so far Lissa and I had managed to move undetected. That didn't mean we could run forever though. The guardians would eventually catch up with us, which meant we only had a limited amount of time to find Rose.

"Christian probably hates me now." Lissa's voice was a mixture of sadness and regret.

"We can explain everything to him when we come back with Rose. He'll understand," I said, trying to sound cheerful. Lissa didn't need a psychic connection to tell that I wasn't entirely convinced of the truth of my own words. There was a permanent hollowness to my voice these days.

Lissa tried to smile, but every mention of Rose sent her spiraling. She closed her eyes and turned her head away from me, but not before I watched as a few tears escaped her lids and slid down her pale cheeks.

...

I awoke to the sound of the pilot's voice crackling over the speakers, announcing that we had begun our decent into Omsk Tsentralny Airport. My entire body ached from sleeping in the cramped seat, but when I looked over at Lissa I saw that she was wide awake. Dark circles hung beneath her eyes and I knew I didn't need to ask how she had slept. Lissa didn't sleep most nights, and when she did, she would always wake up screaming.

I waited for my eyes to adjust to the golden light that streamed through the window and then brought Lissa's aura into focus. Before the accident, it would have shone like the sun – burning with life. Now it was streaked with black and surged like a storm cloud. Something was wrong, something I couldn't explain. I wasn't sure if the world had ever known a shadow-kissed Spirit user before, or if Lissa was the first of her kind.

She let out a gasp and then pressed her face to the glass. "Oh, Adrian, it's so beautiful," she breathed.

I leaned forward and did my best to peer around her. I caught flashes of green and blue and immediately drew back.

"I thought this place was supposed to be some kind of artic wasteland," I said, sounding confused. "Where are all the polar bears?"

Lissa twisted around to face me, her cheeks filled with color and her eyes bright. "I thought so too, but it's…" she turned back around to glance back out the window. "It's so full of life."

...

After a very heated argument in a language I only partially understood, Lissa and I managed to rent a car from a seedy agency with a booth in the airport. It only took minimal amounts of compulsion, and a wad of cash thrown across the counter. We wove our way through the crowd and into the parking lot with what little luggage we had brought and eventually found the dinged up vehicle that was to be our ride to Baia.

We took turns driving and navigating. I had grown tired of trying to fold and unfold the map each time and had elected to just leave it sprawled across the dashboard. After discovering that neither of us really cared for Russian music, the hours had passed by slowly and in silence, each of us growing more agitated with every passing mile.

We drove well into the night, and continued driving until we reached the outskirts of a small town on our third day of traveling. There was a sign posted on the highway, it was written in Cyrillic, but between Lissa and me, we were able to determine that this was the town Rose had stayed in for a few weeks before she had dropped off of the grid.

"Why do you think she came here?" asked Lissa from the passenger's seat. "Is this where he…Dimitri lived?"

My mouth was dry and my head was throbbing. "Your guess is as good as mine."

I didn't want to admit that that was exactly what I thought. Why else would Rose have come here of all places? Though I still wasn't sure what to expect, especially since the last time I had spoken to Rose in a Spirit dream, she had been dressed up like a blood whore and covered in bite marks.

We eventually parked our rental in front of the building that most resembled a grocery story. Lissa and I tried not to sprint as we made our way into the shop. It didn't take long for us to figure out that this was not a grocery story. The aisles were filled with pill bottles and other medicines.

"Adrian," whispered Lissa. "I think this is a pharmacy, maybe we should ask for directions?" She began walking toward a woman stocking one of the shelves before she had even finished speaking to me. "Excuse me," said Lissa in a polite voice. "Do you speak English?"

The woman turned around and my eyes flew immediately to her stomach; she was pregnant, very pregnant.

She smiled warmly at Lissa and then nodded. "How can I help?" she asked in a thick Russian accent.

"We're looking for the grocery store?" said Lissa, and she had somehow managed to phrase her words like a question.

The woman raised an eyebrow. "You drove all the way to Baia to buy groceries?"

There was something familiar about the woman. She had dark hair and even darker eyes, but I couldn't place her.

"We're looking for our friend, actually." I said, stepping up beside Lissa. "Brown hair, brown eyes, a tad violent but cute as a button."

Something like recognition flickered across the woman's face. "Do you mean Rose?" she asked almost hesitantly.

It took everything in me not to shake the woman by her shoulders. "Yes!" I shouted at the same time that Lissa said. "You know Rose?!"

She looked anxiously over her shoulder before saying, "I think you should maybe come with me."

**Ahhhhh I have so many twists planned for this story! Do you guys have any predictions? Thank you all for sticking with this story, and as always, your reviews are greatly appreciated!**


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